WdEdit: Found my glasses! Cinco can go back to being awesome.

So I followed you. But then I saw that you sent me an automated DM thanking me for the follow. Really, guys?

1. Super ungeniune

2. A waste of my time

3. Makes you look like a dumb, lazy brand

4. No one wants to receive DMs from brands. EVER.

So I unfollowed you.

Thanks for reading, and let this be a lesson to you.

Here we go:
- Capital
- Hardbodies
- Suspect, adj
- Vince ( ok, I made that one right now because a list of 3 is weak and I’m hanging with my dog)

Thoughts? JK, not interested. JK I am.

Thanks for reading.

And lately I’ve really been craving a poets society or something. There’s something really raw and beautiful about sharing words with other people, actually reading them aloud. I think language is really incredible; I love trying to structure sentences in delicate, harmonious ways. Alliteration is a weakness of mine, if you were wondering. I miss poetry times in college with my weird friends.

This photo has nothing to do with poetry but it’a my living room and I like it and perhaps my poetry club can sit around it and read. Hmm? Hmmmm?

is

the

worst.

(Vince agrees.)

But I’ll be honest, I came across this incredible sweater vest at a Banana Republic about two years ago. It was on sale for a mind-boggling $17, but I had already spent the amount of money I had planned on spending. So I left it there.

And I regret it at least once a month. Seriously, my new motto is to always buy the sweater vest, especially when you know in your heart it was made for you. And I KNEW it was made for me. Yet foolishly, I disrupted destiny.

Well, whatever. I don’t regret buying a ticket to see Tegan & Sara (next week!). I’m going to have a killer time, even without a sweater vest. This post was pointless, but it’s been a long (albeit rather eventful and awesome) weekend in The Grove.

Possibly the best compliment I’ve ever received is “You look like you’ve got some good stories.” Maybe it wasn’t intended to be a compliment, but I was flattered. I do have so many good stories! And I think being perceived as interesting is way cool. This weekend I added a few more stories to my portfolio – and I consider that a sweet, sweet success.

I have a pole growing out of my head. And my arms look really stupid. But geeez, those bloody Marys at the Handle Bar were delicious.

Thanks for reading.

I will never be as cool as you!

Open letters annoy me more than just about anything. If I could scroll through my Facebook news feed without seeing “Dear lady in the Starbucks line: it’s not like any of us are in a rush to get to work. Please take your time ordering your half-caf soy latte, no whip, with hazelnut and vanilla syrups,” it would truly be a glorious day. But instead I’m subjected to a flood of not-even-slightly-creative passive aggression on every social network I waste my time on. (And by the way, I do catch the irony of me grumbling my grievances to an anonymous audience.)

That said.

Today I have a hangover and I wish wine weren’t so tasty at night. I know this has nothing to do with the subject of this post – but earlier this week I committed an hour of my time to a webinar that was unrelated to its description. So I think karma is a real thing, and it’s happening to the Internet right now.

Thanks for reading?

The first website idea is: triestoohard.com

It will basically be a compilation of people who try too hard. And it will probably be controversial. And most people will not think it’s funny. Won’t get much traffic, but it will still exist for me. And maybe a few others who get annoyed by people who try too hard about things that aren’t worth the effort. Like Twitter.

Thanks for reading.

This isn’t really the place to share my collection of opinionated, sarcastic one-liners anyway. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that:

Everyone hates know-it-alls.

It’s possible that some people dislike know-it-alls.